Let's Not Lick People and Other Lectures I Hadn't Prepared

So I pick the kids up from day care yesterday and she stops me to say "Oh I've meaning to talk to you about a behavior we are having." I immediately glare at Benny, must be hitting the girls again, or no, maybe Gracie, Miss Bossy Pants is probably at it again.

Me: "Oh ok, what is it?"
Her: "Well Tate and Gracie have been licking the furniture and I've asked them repeatedly to stop..."
Me: "Wait, what?"
Her: "Yeah, they've been licking the tables, doors and walls. I've reminded them not to till I'm blue in the face..."
Me (I interrupt a lot): "They've done this more than once?!" *putting on my best teacher face* "You guys! That is SO GROSS! WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?!"
Her: "Well I might as well tell you, today, I turned around and they were actually licking Aisha."
Me: "Her face?! The one whose been out sick with the cough and fever?!"
Her: "Yeah...so I just wanted to warn you they will probably get those germs."
Me: "Yeah, I would assume."
*HEAVY SIGH*

I assured her I would squelch the licking. On the way home I lectured, shamed, and bribed them into promising never to lick anything other than food again. Naturally, they had air tight logic. He did it because she did it. She did it because he was doing it. I wanted to tell them not to be a horrible twin cliche, but I'll save that for high school. instead I informed them they would probably get a cough and runny nose and a fever from licking the other girl. That seemed to spook them enough. Luckily, this season we also have the gift of threatening to call Santa.

At least Benny could loudly proclaim from the back seat, "I not lick the table, mama!"
Me: "Good job, Buddy"
Him: "Yeah! My a HERO!"

Still keeping those high standards around here.