Gracie and her sock "cast"

I made my baby bleed!

I am wallowing in shame!  I can't believe I made my poor baby girl bleed.  Here's what happened: I had changed Gracie's diaper and she was being all smiley and cute, I, the competent SAHM decided to give her finger nails a trim. I am getting a sharp corner when I know I snipped off some skin!  her little face contorted into crying  in slow motion.  Then then the bleeding started.  I thought it would just be a spot and stop, but no, it kept coming!  I quickly went through all of my mommy baskets below the changing table looking for ointment, band-aids, anything!  Turns out I had not prepared for this! By this time she is done crying (thank God) but it getting spots of blood all over her out fit and the changing pad. I wrap her little hand in a washcloth and run to the bathroom.  I look through the band-aid box and grab butterfly closures (what are these, and why do I have them anyway?)  They look like they would be the right size for her tiny hand,so I race back to the nursery.  I try putting it on and quickly realize this is so not going to work-it's not even sticky!  So I race back to the bathroom and grab a big band-aid.  Have you ever tried putting a band-aid on a 3 month old's tiny fingernail?  If she wasn't squirmy enough, there is blood dribbling all over her hand making me more nervous and shaky.  I finally get the band-aid on in some sort of clump around her finger and I am 99% sure that the bloody spot is on the absorbent part. At this point my adrenaline slows down and my mommy guilt kicks into high gear.  We cuddle for 15 minute and I promise to buy her a pony, a Tiffany bracelet and anything else she wants. We are calm and she lays down to play on her mat. Fast fwd 10 minutes.  I come to check on her and Tater (who has been happily playing in his bouncer the whole time) and she has lost the band-aid.  Underneath her the finger is still bleeding and now there is a blood stain on the play mat (so that when  CPS comes they will see now two locations I let my baby bleed!)  I try to re-attach the band-aid and it won't work. Then, in a stroke of mommy genius, I grab a discarded baby sock (I knew there was a reason I didn't clean yesterday) and put it on her hand as a sort of cast/mitten.  It stays put.  She looks pitiful, but at least she a) can't suck on her bloody finger and b) can't stain anything else.  My poor little girl. I am supposed to be the great protector and provider, not giving my baby botched manicures in my free time! I took a picture to show Sean when he came home. I will post it when I figure out how.  I'm sure she won't be scarred for life, but I might be.

We did it!

So our first night away from the babies went pretty well. We dropped them off at 10 am at my mom's on Saturday and my aunt showed up ready to help.  I gave them the printed schedule and instructions with misc. info in case they do something out of the ordinary.  I didn't realize how much stuff we would pack with bouncers and play mats, clothes, bottles, the pack 'n play-all that stuff. I barely remembered to pack anything for myself! We fed and cuddled one last time and it was really hard to actually walk out the door knowing I wouldn't see them for 24 hours!   We had to drive 5 hours to central Oregon for a wedding.  It was actually fun for the first couple of hours, but then my mommy paranoia started to kick in and I called to check on them.  I called the rest of the trip after every feeding. So about every 3 hours or so: did they spit up? Poop? Nap? Are they fussy?  Fussier than normal? Are they smiling?  Do they miss me?!! :) My mom and aunt did a great job of trying to follow our schedule and make them nap. I don't know what was harder-calling and hearing them cry or hearing them coo and gurgle happily! Napping is the hardest part to tell people about because the twins always wake mid-nap and sitters want to pick them up then, but really I know that after about 10 minutes they will fall back asleep if you leave them in the crib!  So other than explaining my logic on a few things to my mom, things went great.  We woke up at 6:30 am and sped out of Oregon to head home.  We both were so excited as we got closer and closer to the freeway exits!  I was bouncing up and down in my seat when we saw my mom's house and I flew out of the car as soon as we stopped.  Sean and I had to race b/c we both wanted both babies to cuddle first!  I really don't think I realized how much I missed them until I saw them again. My heart was full again! It was great.  So we fed and cuddled and spent the afternoon with my family for a birthday party and I tried to let a couple of people hold the babies too,  but really I still wanted them all to myself.  It helped to hear how other moms have done it and to call all the time. Dh and I had a great time dancing and catching up with old friends (and showing off pictures!) At one point we were dancing and I said, "hey, I remember you".  We get so caught up in all the baby business that it was nice to see the guy I married again.   I don't think I will be leaving them again for a long time, but our next challenge lies ahead-a plane ride/trip to California in a few weeks to see great-grand parents.  We must be crazy.

2 days and counting...

Until we leave them overnight for the first time!  We are going to a wedding in Oregon and it would just be too hard to bring the babies on that long of a drive, and sit through a wedding. They are staying with my mom and my aunt is going to stay with her overnight to help.  I am so nervous, every time I think about leaving them I tear up!  Sean went camping for a night when they were a few weeks old so he is fine with it and wants us to just enjoy the break, but I can't stand the thought of missing the cuddles and not putting them to bed myself.  This will be good, I know, it will refresh me and all that, but SO hard! I am also nervous about what this will do to their schedule.  We have it down pretty well now and with 4 nights in a row of 8 hours of sleep, I am hesitant to mess with anything!  Who knows if they will nap well at my mom's or sleep though the night. Will they even miss us or notice we are gone?  How will my mom know how to cuddle Tater just right when he has reflux and is fussy or how to get Gracie to fall back asleep mid-nap? OK, stop, I am going to make myself cry. It's one night! I am going to type up a list of things to do and schedule for my mom, she probably won't follow it, but it will give me some peace of mind.  That and I will just call her every 2 hours. 

STTN!

We slept through the night! Getting 8 hours of sleep never felt so good!  We moved their bed time up to 9pm, did the last feeding and put them down.  Then we didn't hear a peep until 6:30 am this morning!  They did this once last week, so I am hopeful it will happen more often!  We also went back to using out swaddle me blankets because they always bust out of the regular blankets by morning.  I have no clue how, but Tate still managed to get his legs free!  Seriously, I don't know how he got the Velcro undone, but whatever makes him happy ;)  They ate 6 and 7 ounces at 6:30 and were up for a little over an hour then falling asleep so now they are napping and though I was tempted to crawl back into bed myself, I washed bottles and ate breakfast instead-you never know if you will get time for either again during the day!

I am a little worried about Tater because he keeps crying during his feedings.  It's not every one, but he will just cry through the whole thing-take the bottle for a few drinks and cry, let daddy burp him for a few minutes and then cry-back and forth.  We get frustrated not knowing what he wants us to do.  It seems just holding him and soothing for like 5-10 minutes helps, but it makes for a longer feeding for sure.  They already eat so slowly some days!  They were consistently taking an hour to eat until our Dr. said we could get them fast flow nipples, so we started and then they were eating in like 20 minutes flat!  I loved it, it felt like we gained all this free time!  Then they jut started slowing down again, now we are back to 30-40 minutes.  I even had a few hour longs last week. It seems like all of my friends' newborn suck down bottles in like 15 minutes, I don't know why mine can't/don't.  Maybe it's because they were preemie?  Or maybe they just like to dine slowly and take their sweet time. :) I won't complain too much because they really are speedy during the middle of the night and I appreciate that the most!

It's amazing how quickly the weekend went by. Friday night we had our moms over and they babysat so we could go see batman (a real date night!)  It was great having a break, but I was aching to see them on the ride home. Saturday we hung out at home and went to the mall twice- the first time all of the power was out.  That was so annoying to pack the babies/stroller back in the car and sit through traffic to get home for nothing.  So we went to a different mall a few hours later and they did pretty well.  I swear they can tell when Sean leaves though.  They will be sleeping  so soundly and he will walk away to a different aisle and they both wake up and start crying, then I am left trying to soothe them both with strangers looking at me with pity. Then as soon as gets back they conk back out. Go figure.   Sunday was church and just hanging out at home again. It sounds boring, but it goes by so quickly when we feed ever 3 hours.  The day just gets divided into chunks and before you know it, it's over. I am so glad to have Sean home on weekends though, it feels so much easier than weekdays when it's just me.  Today should be a good day, they both were smiley and happy during the last feeding and I swear they are so close to laughing!  I can't wait!  That is my favorite art of the day, waking them up when they smile and coo at me :) It makes all this mom stuff worth while!

schedules

The twins had a tough day yesterday-okay, I had a tough day.  They just don't seem to want to wait until the 3 hour mark for their feeds.  They have been wanting to eat every 2.5 hrs or so and my pediatrician was just telling me to start stretching them to 3.5 hours.  So  I was pretty frustrated.  They eat, stay awake for an hour or a little more and then get fussy/tired so I put them to bed for a nap and they only sleep about 30-40 minutes!  Seems like my friends' newborns are all taking longer naps!  Then they wake up and want to eat immediately, but it isn't time yet.  So They cry and I either try to block it out and make them wait or give in and feed them early.  I am afraid I will teach them they can eat every 2.5 hours, but my nerves can't handle the screaming for very long. The good news is today has been happier for everyone.  They slept an extra hour this morning (a wonderful gift to mommy) and though they still woke early from their last nap they waited to eat!! Amazing!  They sat in their boppys with pacifiers and just hung out for 15 minutes with me. That really did wonders for my mood.  I have even been able to do some laundry and write some emails this morning!  I have some visitors later today and I was able to clean a little too.  I am hoping that this last week of fussiness has been a growth spurt and we can get back to our "schedule".  

Sleep!

We have had two nights of pretty good sleep!  I don't want to count on it, but they have been going down at about 10:15 (we do our last feed at 9:30 pm) and they slept until 5:20 am this morning!  Yesterday was about the same and Sean has just and to go in and re-swaddle them around 2 or 3 am when they cry.  I am really praying that this means they will start to drop that 3 am feeding and we can stretch out until the morning feed which they usually do around 7:30 am. That would be so incredible.  We have been doing baby wise for about 6 weeks now and while they are a couple of weeks behind what the book says (now 10 weeks) they seem to get there!  They dropped their 1 am feeding about 2 weeks ago and that was SO nice for mom and dad! We had one blissful night where they slept straight through, but I am not holding my breath for that to happen again for awhile.  It did give us a glimmer of hope though!

Tate had bis circumcision yesterday and I cried as soon as he came home and then I keep tearing up every time I see it.  It just looks so awful-red and gooey and painful!  We are giving him tylenol even though they said he won't need it, I do!  This morning when I changed him he didn't cry as much though.  The awful part is that we are supposed to pull down the skin around it to keep it from healing up too high or something, that does bother him and I hate it.  People say it heals quickly so I am praying for just that. 

Tonight we are going to look at our daycare, it is an in-home with a woman who attends our church and I feel so blessed that she has space for both of them!  She is very reasonable priced so we can keep saving for a bigger house.  I really believe God is working things out for us! I go back to work the last week of August and I feel like it is coming at me quickly. I mean I have a hard time taking care of them alone, but I know I am going to miss them like crazy once I am at work.  They will be 4 months then at least, I'm glad I got to stay home for this long and as a teacher my hours are great for picking them up early and having days/vacations off to spend more time with them if I had some other full time job.  Later I'm having a much needed night out for dinner with girlfriends, our wonderful husbands are all going to babysit together (2 toddlers and 5 babies!)  I feel bad we bring two newborns, but I think when they are all together one more doesn't really make a difference!

Our blog

We wanted to start a blog to keep track and have memory of what the twins are up to week to week-so far the first 10 weeks have been a blur! I love reading the blogs of other Moms Of Multiples so this is my attempt. 

Today Tate is getting his circumcision!  We waited (maybe too long) because he was too small when we left the hospital.  I am staying home with Gracie and Sean is taking him alone.  I have heard it's too hard for moms to watch anyway!  I am so nervous for him!  I am hoping at least this will force him to get some good sleep this afternoon.  He is just not napping during the day as well as Gracie-even she only naps for about 40 minutes, but he will do 15-20 of I am lucky.  This morning he didn't nap between feeds at all.  Then he just gets cranky. I am so grateful my friend Amy recommended I make them start napping in their crib during the day.  I had tried that when they were about 5 weeks old but they didn't seems happy so we have been napping in swings every day, but they seemed to startle awake at everything I did around the house and when their soothies fell out.  Now they just lie in there and stare around or sleep and I feel like I get more alone time and much needed breaks during the day!