On My Own

I am home alone with the twins this weekend.  Sean went to Vegas on his annual guys trip. I stayed one night with a friend  and last night at my mom's.  I cannot sleep without my husband and further more I am too chicken to stay home for a weekend all alone. I'm sure I could do it, but the amount of anxiety and stress would not be worth it.  As it was I felt like a poor hobo mother carrying around all of our belonging in a plastic bag because our luggage is in storage. I cried as I drove to a friend's 1st bday party for her son because I didn't know how we would all get out of the car. I am 28 weeks pg now and it is getting o difficult for me to get around with them. To make things worse Tate has been in a very clingy mood all weekend.  I'm not sure if it's daddy being gone or moving from place to place or a new tooth perhaps? Thank goodness Gracie compensated by being an angel all weekend, totally flexible and happy to play alone or wait her turn. Daddy comes home tonight thank God.  Even though it's after I will already have to feed the babies dinner and put them to bed on my own, just knowing he is coming is a help! People keep asking me what I am going to do when we have three. The answer is I don't know. Cry? Drink heavily? Probably just do it, like we have done with the twins. You just find a way to do things because you don't have an option.  The upside is that you get to spend every day with these hilarious little people that love us more than anyone else in the world. So I'll take it. 

Happy Mother's Day to all the hard working mommies out there!

1st Birthday!

I feel so behind! Lets sum t up and say this last week has been exhausting! the twins turned one on Saturday which I can't quite wrap my head around and Sunday we had an open house and did the March of Dimes walk. 

A recap of their b-day:

We had the party at my mom's because our place is too small.  We had around 25 people which was great and I am so glad I hired a photographer to capture all the moments I would be too stressed to get.  The babies had fun and played with their friends until cake time.  Tate tore into his cake like nothing and ate about half in all. Gracie got upset as soon as she couldn't get the pink frosting off of her hands. She freaked and started crying. I don't think she ever tried a bite.  She looked adorable though in her big pink tutu.   I tried and failed at making many things. The chocolate cupcakes were a no go, but the vanilla ones were beautiful.  I don't know why I convinced myself I'd have time to make everything from scratch.  Half of the recipes I borrowed from friends also failed me. This is why I don't cook people! I gave up at 1 am and we had enough impromptu food for the event. I was up at 5:30 am and the day flew from there.  The most important thing was that Sean and I got to be with the babies all day, that's what we said no matter what and that's what we did.  So the spread wasn't as impressive, but I didn't miss a smile and that's what I'll remember!  The babies passed out cold as guests left and we let them sleep for 20 minutes (mean!) before having to wake them for my cousin's wedding.  They did remarkably well bouncing back.  Gracie surprised us all by gorging herself on chocolate covered strawberries at the reception.  She was a mess, but we figured it's still her birthday! Now we'll know what she wants next ear instead of cake. I'll post some pics of the big day once I get them back. :)

1 Year in Pictures Post

Stumped

I can't believe we haven't settled on a name yet. I just can't seem to commit to any of them. I like Ben, like Eli, like Finn a lot (but my sister hates it and tells me every day) and recently have added Cullen.  I'm not going to pretend it's not for Edward. Lol, but that's the reason this baby is on it's way! ;) Turns out it's a legitimate first name-means good looking young boy and was #537 on the popularity list. Yes, this is justification for me. 

Take a sec to vote on the side if you can! I am 25 weeks and really need to decide already.  My calss of first graders voted: 4 for Finn and 13 for Cullen.  One girl said Finn  sounded "too fishy and he would have to wear fish pajamas". This is why I love first grade. 

Don't bump the grump

I think that's a new book...anyway. Let's let that suffice for my mood. 

Gracie and Tater are working through their 500th cold this (never-ending) winter.  The crust/goopy eyes in the morning are what kill me. Gracie is clapping and blinking and can't get them open! She just says "dadadada? mammama?" Poor thing. I think we are coming through it now though.  I am in full party planning mode. The last details to work out are really just the menu and making some decisions on brunch.  My not being a cook doesn't help things.  The invites turned out super cute though and I swear I can feel them getting ready to turn one. They just seem so much older and its like I can hardly keep up with all the new facial expressions and new things they are learning. They can kiss and hug each other, play an actual game of rolling a ball back and forth, laugh at us and communicate in new ways! It blows my mind.

Also helping my grumpiness was my 1st graders Bible time this morning.  We had been talking about God's big plan ( Adam and Eve, sin, redemption, etc) and they were just asking such great questions! I love it when we have a real discussion (not me just telling them things) and I have the wisdom to go with it.  They asked where would we be right now if Adam and eve never sinned? What if only Eve did? Great questions about Satan- one kid said Satan lives in the "bad heaven". What did Jesus feel like being up on the cross? How did God come up with his name? lol. I could go on. These little gems brighten my otherwise grumpy days post spring break/pre-summer break when the kids are NUTS.

Still waiting to find out if I get a job next year (low enrollment at a private school), waiting to list our house and see if it ever sells, praying we can move soon to give our babies some SPACE-I must.choose.peace. 

Holy Week

It is challenging in a new way to focus on the meaning of this Holy week.  Usually I struggle with laziness, and motivation to spend time in reflection.  This year I have all the motivation, but it seems my hours are limited and the babies demand my attention. I was a little sad we couldn't go to Good Friday service last night as it started at bedtime and we didn't have a sitter.  I tried to rent The Passion of the Christ somewhere to at least have that, but couldn't find a copy. Seems the odds were stacked against me.   I am thankful though for a prayer walk we did at church this week. We traded babysitting nights (really sleep watching) with friends so we could all take turns going and it was a wonderful experience. I got to LISTEN and enjoy quiet time with my God. I sat in sacred space and fed on the Word. I painted and prayed. We washed each other's feet-Sean and I haven't done that in a few years and it was a nice time of connection. One surprise gift that I get every year is to watch my students celebrate Easter and Holy Week.  There is nothing like watching their little hands reach up to praise Jesus and sing from their hearts of pure love. I feel honored to be there and thankful God provides me with that special time of worship at work!

Today brings a birthday party for little Jackson turning one and much needed work around the house to prepare for selling.  I need to get some things together for the babies' Easter baskets too and set up for tomorrow! We are going to a big dinner with our Seattle friends who don't travel to see family on Easter. I think there will be 20 of us and 6 or 7 babies (craziness, but fun). I hope you and your families have a wonderful Easter!