1st day at work

Today was a big day.  We took the twins to a woman from my church who has an in-home daycare and will be watching them while I return to teaching. Today I had to start meetings to get ready for school next week so it was the first official day care day. It was really hard.  Not in the ways I expected though.  I felt pretty comfortable dropping them off this morning and then my husband accidentally locked the car with my purse still in it (and keys) and hopped on the bus to work. So I was stuck at the sitter's house for an extra hour waiting for him to come back and open the door.  When It was actually time for me to leave I felt ok and and was just thinking about work.  As the day wore on I worried about everything they could be doing. I was supposed to get them at 1 PM, but meeting ran late so I got there at 1:30PM. Gracie was being fed and was crying and Tate was sitting in a swing. I immediately worried bc they were supposed to eat at noon per our schedule, so I don't know if that means they were eating way late or early or what. Plus i feel bad for poor Tater swinging in the dark while the older toddlers she watches were napping on the floor next to him.  Next she told me that they had only eaten like 3 ounces and piece and I worry because they usually eat 5 or 6!  Is this going to be a hard transition for them, having someone else feeding them?  The sitter also looked tired which made me feel bad-are the twins too much to handle with other kids around? I know she has help, but will this work out?  The worst was hugging them and they didn't smell like my babies. They didn't stink or anything, they just smelled like someone else's home and that left me feeling unsettled. 

I took them right home and tried to feed them, they each at 6 ounces-so were they starving?! We played, applied baby lotion to get their sweet smell back and now they are napping. For the rest of the week I will be picking them up early, but next week school starts and I won't get them until about 4PM!  How much will I have missed? Will they have cried for me and not understood why I am gone? Will they feel scared or lonely?  I am so glad at least they have each other! I've heard the first day is the hardest so I am praying it gets easier for all of us. I never thought I had the temperament to be a stay at home mom, but I caught a glimpse today of how badly I will miss them.