All that to say that I did not expect to openly weep over them at church on Sunday.
I knew that G and T would be moving up to the "pre-school" aged group of children and have their own small group in the church nursery; very sweet. I also knew somewhere in my brain that Benny is only one. Somehow I neglected to put together that they would no longer all be in the same nursery on Sunday mornings. This is how it played out, more or less:
Me: Drop off G and T into the yellow room per usual. Kisses and reminders to go potty.
Walk into the hallway looking for Sean and Baby Benny to join us.
Sean: Waves from down the hall "Benny is in a different room now."
Me: Run down the hall and peer in the room to see my baby playing with a nice older couple and other babies. I look back and forth from room to room holding my precious babies and start WEEPING.
"I know, this is silly! I don't know why I'm crying!" (Still crying) "It's fine, I just didn't realize they would be separated!" (wiping away errant mascara) "Great, really, good plan....I feel like they are growing up.....I wasn't prepared...."
It just gets uglier and more mumbly from there.
Sean looked at me in surprise that I was seriously crying over this, but held my hand just the same. I'm thankful I had girlfriends in the service to whom I could vent. By their laughter, I am not sure they actually got why I was crying though.
It was just a visceral mommy reaction. Man, I don't think I have felt one so automatic since Grace and Tate were separated in the NICU or when we first put them in separate cribs! Please tell me some other mom has turned into a puddle of tears over the slightest hint of their children growing up.
On a bright note, there was a very sweet reward for my bravery:
Their first finger paintings brought home from "school" (Sunday school, but who's counting)
I felt ridiculously proud of them for doing so well while we were apart for that hour. I didn't see that coming either.
Posts
You are not alone! I cry over something like this at least once a week! SOMETIMES MORE! I cried when we put them in different rooms, I cried last week when Lilly was sick and we had to take Nate to daycare by himself. Turns out it was probably good for them to have some "non-twin" time! Sometimes it is hard to see our babies growing up!
ReplyDeleteOh good! I swear, felt like I was losing my marbles! Rationally, I knew it wasn't a big deal, but my soft mommy heart took over!
ReplyDeleteI hear ya! We just moved Liam from the baby car seat to the "big boy" seat and I cried.
ReplyDeleteAlthough Leah, I just remembered that you cried when we made you popcorn once in college...so for you this is a much more justified reason to express emotion.
ReplyDeleteha ha, I said I have always been a little sensitive ;)
ReplyDelete